Love Thy Neighbour...

A cautionary tale of a shared driveway and an ignorant neighbour!

Let me make it clear that these pages are not a vendetta against my neighbour, nor are they some delusion of persecution, they are simply a snapshot of what my wife and I have suffered at the hands of one man. My wife and I genuinely believe that few of my neighbour's actions are deliberate, they are rather, the result of our neighbour's inability to even consider what impact his actions may have on other people. He does not consider anyone else in his plans or, to put it simply, he does not consider other people worthy of consideration.

All of the examples and incidents related here are fully documented and evidence has been collected in case we ever end up having to take our neighbour to court. Believe me, we have considered taking legal action on many occasions and we are advised that we would have good case but, we are not vindictive people and prefer to sit it out.

I do not speak to my other neighbours about our problems but I know that at least one of our other neighbours has a very low opinion of our immediate neighbours but it is not for me to ellaborate here.

I have also been informed by the local gossip that Mr Brown has upset most of the neighbours further down the street by parking his vehicles there and preventing them and their visitors from parking safely.

This whole experience has caused my wife and I extreme stress and upset over the years.

Read on and decide for yourself who is the victim here!

Let's begin

If I could sum up my neighbour in a few words, I would use the words arrogant, dishonest, lazy, selfish, thoughtless and deceitful. He is also, in my opinion, a pathological liar!

I am only going to relate the major issues here but, believe me, living next door to this family, or primarily the husband, is very stressful. I should make it clear that it is the husband that is the problem as his wife is very apologetic about his behaviour and seems embarrassed about a lot of his actions.

I do not intend to be judgmental but some incidents and occurrences require comment in my opinion. When you live in a street where the majority of residents are normal, considerate and friendly people, the ones that do not have the same ethos stick out like a sore thumb.

My wife and I have suffered intimidation, insults, threats to property, downright rudeness, lies, broken promises and much, much more. We have amassed a large amount of photographic and video evidence to support our case should we ever be forced to go to court but we hope this will never be necessary.

It all started over six years ago, in autumn 2016, when my new next door neighbours Mr and Mrs Brown (not their real names) moved in. Our houses share a driveway which has two garages at the end of it but, the developers decided built our houses in such a way that the entrance to the driveway is only just wide enough for a single vehicle, about 9.5 feet.

We purchased our property 'off-plan' and living, at that time, 50 miles away, we were unable to spot what would become a serious problem when we moved in. The property we finally received did not match the development plans and we lost a significant amount of land which resulted in a driveway entrance which should have been 15 feet wide being reduced to 9.5 feet.

Even the reduced driveway width was not obvious as we moved into a house where none of the groundwork had been completed. We did notice some obvoius differences between our property and what the plans showed but it was when the developers added the driveway edging that we really became concerned.

This is something we have grown accustomed to and it has not been a real problem until Mr and Mrs Brown moved in. We actually lost circa 25% of the land we thought we were purchasing so we took the developers to court but, after 3 years of legal tom-foolery combined with an awful solicitor, we ended up settling 'out of court' for less than we should have been entitled to.

The developers also decided to build the two garages together attached to my neighbour's house with a gate between our house and our garage. Occasional visitors could mistake this arrangement for a double garage belonging to my neighbour and assume the driveway is totally his. I contend that it is my neighbour's duty to ensure that visitors are made aware of the 'no parking on the driveway' stipulation but, my neighbour does not seem to agree!

Put simply, the deeds of the properties state that parking is not permitted on the front half of the driveway beginning at the kerbside. Loading and unloading is permitted as is picking up and dropping off. We both have a 'right of way' over the front area of the driveway. The deeds also state that the property owners will not cause nuisance or be inconsiderate to other property owners. I get the impression that my neighbour is not aware of, or chooses to ignore, the restrictive covenants contained in the deeds.

There had never been a problem in the 34 years that my wife and I had lived here. Our properties have open plan frontages and originally had lawns either side of the driveway which clearly marked the boundaries. However, like so many other homeowners, our previous neighbours and ourselves, about 30 years ago, decided to convert the grassed areas to a paved and gravel area to allow parking of vehicles on the properties, mainly because there is only space for 2 vehicles on the street. There are no sidewalks and vehicles are only allowed to park in the two designated parking spots.

We can drive straight down the driveway to park in front of our garage but my neighbour's parking area is at an angle to the right of the driveway entrance.

Again. this caused no problems over the years as our previous neighbours respected our property and only drove across the driveway entrance, not across our property. This concept has been accepted and adhered to by later neighbours as the next door property changed hands over the years... until our latest neighbours moved in.

Our local community comprises 19 properties in a close which is a 'Y' shaped street. There are no sidewalks as it was planned as an 'American Village'. What this really means is that the developers, by creating the street with no sidewalks, were able to cram in more houses per acre. Our property, along with 3 other properties forms 1 branch of the 'Y'. My wife and I do not discuss our problems with our neighbour with anyone else but our immediate neighbours are aware that things are not as good as they could be. Of course, like so many other communities, we have our local gossip and self-appointed guardian of local news! Everyone speaks to them but don't seem to realise just how good they are at gathering information and just how adept they are at passing it on to anyone who listens. Unfortunately, like social-media, the gossip[/news isn't always accurate or even true!

I actually learned, some years ago, that I had been accused of making official complaints against another neighbour down the street. I only found out when the neighbour in question stopped me in the street one day and asked me why I had complained about them. I was able to assure the neighbour that I was not the guilty party and it became clear that the local gossip had struck again. I keep the identity of this gossip to myself but I hope other victims are able to recognise the gossip for what they are.

We often stop to speak with the gossip from time to time and they never fail to ask questions and try to get information about our troubles. Rest assured, they get nothing concrete or useful from us!

'They only had to ask!'

When the new neighbours moved in my wife and I introduced ourselves and found the couple friendly and approachable. We explained where the driveway entrance boundaries were and made sure that they understood that parking of vehicles on the front half driveway was not allowed as we have a 'right of way' stated in the deeds of the properties. However, should a visitor 'need' to park on the driveway, they only needed to ask us and we would have no objections provided we could get the vehicle moved in an emergency. We even offered the use of the additional parking area at the front of our house should they need additional parking for visitors. This is an offer we have made to all the other residents in our close.

My neighbour was also made aware that I suffer from a medical condition which can, if my medication does not work, require me to seek urgent treatment at the local hospital. It is therefore necessary that my wife is able take me there as a matter of urgency. By blocking our access to the street, my neighbour could cause me considerable harm as every second counts should I have an attack.

I believe that I have earned the right to park in front of our garage as I have been doing so for over 38 years  as neither of the garages can be used for vehicles because the garage doors are sealed. There is space for two cars and previous neighbours have taken advantage of this additional space but, our latest neighbours have never taken advantage of this.

They fully accepted this and assured us that they were fully aware of the parking restrictions but, unfortunately, they were soon forgotten by our neighbours. Within days, I had to ask the neighbour's wife to move their car as our car was completely blocked in by her car. She apologised profusely and assured me that it would never happen again. It did and on many occasions!

A major problem was that our neighbours either didn't want to or felt they couldn't tell their visitors to park on the street and they often didn't answer their door when vehicles needed to be moved which led to a lot of bad feeling.

They started allowing visitors to park on the 'right of way' and we had to go and ask them to remove the vehicles which they did. Apologies were made and promises that it would not happen again but it did, frequently. We then became aware that our neighbours were driving over our frontage to reach the street rather than maneuvering to use the driveway entrance but we said nothing at the time.

When challenged about the abuse of the driveway parking arrangements, the husband would often blame his wife and state that it was only when he arrived home that he realised that his wife had allowed the visitors to park there. Lie after lie, as he was often already home when the visitors arrived and his vehicle was obviously parked in the street when he claimed to have not been there!

Only the entrance to the driveway is built for vehicular traffic, the area which makes up the frontage of our house is not and we therefore do not want traffic crossing our block paving and causing damage.

What is galling is that most of the times that visitors parked on the driveway, there was an empty parking spot in the street just a few yards away. They seemed to be too lazy to use it! It doesn't help that one of the two designated parking spots is almost permanently used by my neighbour to park one of his four vehicles.

I am not a psychologist but it has become apparent over the years that my neighbour is like a spoilt child who wants to make his own rules that others must comply with and you defy him at your peril. He appears to be obsessed with his 'standing' amongst his friends and has spent a fortune adding to and improving the inside of his house for no practical reason. His house was already extended from its origonal 3 bedrooms and 2 reception rooms into a 4/5 bedroom property. At the time of writing, the house now boasts 6/7 bedrooms and a huge kitchen extension to the rear of the property. All this for a family consisting of 2 adults and 2 children.

The exterior of the property. on the other hand, received little or no attention as you will read further on.

I am quite sure that Mr Brown paints us as the unreasonable, aggressive, uncaring party to his friends and cronies but, nothing could be further from the truth. I have tried everything to build bridges and engage Mr Brown but his arrogance and ignorant stance means that he will not even acknowledge our existance. Mrs Brown does talk to us but we are reluctant to engage with her as it would put her in an awkward position.

'Anti-social Behaviour'

It wasn't just our neighbour's that caused upset, it was most often their visitors/contractors. They often appeared to be just as arrogant, selfish and thoughtless as our neighbour! We suffered people using our frontage as a short cut to our neighbour's property, having loud arguments right outside of our living room window, arriving and leaving noisily at all hours of the day and night with no thought for any of the residents.

The concept of keeping noise levels down at night appears to be lost on my neighbour and his cronies as they slam their car doors when arriving home in the early hours of the morning. When our neighbour goes out for the evening with a group of his friends, they often arrive in the small hours and have loud discussions in the street or on the driveway.

Just the simple neighbourly act of taking in parcels for one another was abused early on in our relationship when we took in 3 very large boxes addressed to Mr Brown. The delivery driver left the Brown's a card telling then that their boxes were at our address but it took my wife going to their property after 3 days of the boxes obstructing our hallway to get them collected. Mr Brown came for the boxes and made it quite clear that the delay was totally his wife's fault and had he known the boxes were with us, he would have collected them immediately.

'Two drivers, four vehicles?'

Our neighbours own 4 vehicles, a Mercedes Mini Bus, a Range Rover, a BMW convertible and a smaller Mercedes family car. The Mini Bus rarely gets used and only the husband drives the Range Rover which is also rarely used. The BMW is almost permanently, parked in one of the two visitor parking spaces in the close which, at times causes problems. Our neighbour is not adverse to parking the vehicles outside of other properties in the neighbouring streets, often causing inconvenience for the residents there. He has also been known to park on other resident's driveways when they have been on holiday.

The Mini Bus, Range Rover and the Mercedes car are usually parked on their frontage but due to lazy parking they often park in a manner that reduces the width of the driveway. Often, when visitors bring their cars with them, our neighbours will move one or more of their vehicles onto the street and occupy all of the visitor parking so that the visitors can park on their property.

'A Driveway Ruined'

Imagine, the day after coming home from holiday, looking out of your window to see a van offloading sheets of plasterboard over the top of your car on your driveway. We had no idea what was going on until another neighbour knocked on our door to ask us what we thought about our neighbours extension. We knew nothing about it but we quickly obtained the plans from the local council and discovered that a huge kitchen extension was being added to rear of the property. Two days later my neighbour knocked on our door and said he wanted to tell us what was happening. He was as nice as pie and, when pressed, sort of apologised for not telling us earlier about his plans. We later realised that he was buttering us up so that we would not object to his application for planning permission! We actually had no objection as long as building materials were not delivered at the front of the property which he assured us would not happen.

It later transpired that he had already started building the extension without planning permission which later resulted in a refusal of permission by the local council. He re-applied for permission which was then approved. He lied on the second application about the dates when work had actually commenced but we said nothing.

What happened next truly shocked us as we were not told that a group of labourers would begin excavating on his half of the shared driveway in front of the garages. It turned out the drainage and power were being routed in trenches along the driveway to the front of his house. We asked how long the driveway would be affected and we were told "About a week" which was a lie as, nearly three years later, the driveway has still not been reinstated to its original condition. My heighbour made repeated promises that the driveway would be reinstated "soon" and he even told us that the materials had been ordered. This was all lies!

Our half of the driveway has been compromised as the gravel on our side has begun to migrate due to the failure to reinstate the structure of the driveway. There is a difference of up to 2 inches in the levels of the 2 halves of the driveway. We now have to park our car away from the garage doors to reduce the risk of damage. The labourers installed an inspection chamber in the drainage pipe laid in the driveway but incompetently made the cover level with the sub-surface of the driveway, not the gravel surface which means that as the cover should not be covered and there is now there is two inch difference in the levels of the gravel.

When the labourers finally finished their excavations, they simply back-filled the trenches with the spoil which consisted of the original aggregate, hardcore and clay. No attempt was made to restore the fabric of the driveway and restore its strength. They also managed to 'lose' about 2 tons of aggregate which was very expensive decorative gravel. After many challenges, our neighbour asked his contractors to lay half a bag (0.5 tons) of gravel, of the wrong type and colour, which my neighbour thought would suffice. This was the point where my neighbour stopped talking to us. He did not have the courage or decency to explain what he had done.

The driveway has deteriorated as gravel has migrated from my side of the driveway to my neighbour's. Because my neighbour doesn't carry out any maintenance of the driveway, the front of the driveway has migrated away from the paved entrance which causes a large puddle to appear when it rains heavily. The entire driveway has been ruined!

Further damage has resulted from my neighbour's habit of driving onto and off of the driveway at speed. He drives like a maniac at times, roaring down the street oblivious to any children or animals that might be there. One neighbour recently told us that he had forced them to jump onto the verge when they were walking down the street due to his high speed and arrogance.

'Mr Angry, the contractor!'

The picture above shows the damage that Mr Angry caused to our driveway when he was asked, very politely, if he could park his van so that it did not block our exit. His van was facing the other way and he roared off of the driveway causing the gravel to be thrown in all directions. He then roared back onto the driveway parking as shown above.

On another occasion, Mr Angry trespassed on my land and removed the wheelie-bin that I later placed at the entrance to the driveway to prevent vehicles being driven over our property. When asked to explain what he was doing he threatened to damage my property if I did not allow him to move the bin to allow access for a breakdown vehicle to attend to his van! He made a point of deliberately hitting the wheelie-bin as he left that evening. If he had just asked, I would have been happy to allow his request but, just like my neighboiur, he didn't consider us at all.

Then Mr Angry showed his true colours one morning. The wheelie-bin had blown over onto the road due to high winds overnight. Mr Angry arrived the next morning and found his access to the driveway blocked. Now, it is fair to assume that any normal person would have alighted from their vehicle and moved the wheelie-bin but not Mr Angry. He decided to sit outside our property sounding his horn and when no one came to move the wheelie-bin for him, got out of his vehicle and literally threw the wheelie-bin across our frontage!

A different contractor parked his van fully on the 'right of way' and my wife asked him to move his vehicle he started arguing with her so she asked me to speak to him. Frankly, I was shocked by his response as he kept saying "Why do you not say hello to me instead of being rude?". I asked him again, very politely, to remove his vehicle from the driveway and he stated that he had permission from the homeowner to park there. When I pointed out that it was a shared driveway and he had not sought my permission, he calmed down and removed his vehicle. I later learned that my neighbour had told him to park there as it was his property!

We suffered more than three months of Mr Angry deliberately blocking the driveway as he fitted our neighbour's kitchen and carried out other work. He continued to do work intermittently over the next year and always made a point of deliberately blocking the driveway. The majority of the time, there was ample space to park in the street a few yards away!

"You are all untouchable"

Thursday 28 May 2020 was the day that I approached one of the builders to enquire if he knew when the driveway was going to be reinstated to its original condition. The incorrect aggregate had been in place for some time. The response I received shocked me!

My neighbour no longer seemed to want to talk to me and sent his wife out to see me when I requested a chat about the driveway or any other matter relating to the building works.

 I asked the builder "when will the gravel be reinstated?" and he replied "we have been told not to talk to you as Mr Brown says you are all dalit".

The builder was of Indian origin so I assumed that he was using an Indian word. Imagine my shock upon learning that 'Dalit' means 'Untouchable' or the lowest form of life in Hindu society. I couldn't believe that this was true but eventually I penned a letter to my neighbour asking if my wife or I had insulted him or had in any way upset him.

I received no reply and, to this day,  my neighbour has totally blanked both my wife and me. It was at this time that I sat back and reviewed our dealings with our neighbour. Both my wife and I had always been polite, helpful and very forgiving of our neighbour so we were at a loss to explain this statement by the builder. Putting all the evidence together made us realise that our neighbour was an arrogant narcissist and had utter contempt for those he saw as below, or of no use to him. It also became clear that his happy and friendly demeanour was an act and as long as you were of use to him, he was your friend. Cross him, or refuse to comply with his needs and you would be ostracised.

I learnt much later, from his wife in March 2022, that the reason he stopped talking to us was that he didn't want to talk about the driveway. He never had any intention of reinstating the driveway until other work had been carried out at the front of the property so why did he continuously lie and not just tell us the truth? I think a truer statement would be that he ran out of lies! She explained that her husband would do what he wanted and no one could ever persuade him otherwise. His wife also made it clear that she had no power over him whatsoever.

I asked why they needed 4 vehicles for 2 drivers and she explained that the Mercedas Mini-bus and the BMW were to be sold which I was pleased to hear but, more than a year later, the vehicles remain as before.